It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
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Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
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he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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