You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
