ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
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