I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize