apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
