I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
