So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
