Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
