If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
