Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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