i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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