why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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