I feel like I'm in dance class right now
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
