Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
