im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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