When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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