Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
