Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize