Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
