walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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