Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
