Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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