Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
