am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
