Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
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