FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
