Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
