it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
