yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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