We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
