Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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