If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
