Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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