Pregnant stripper...not hot.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
