I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
so let's talk penis.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
