I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
