Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
