ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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