the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I am spending my child support on dildos
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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