Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
