No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize