Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
