You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
