You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
