I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
