Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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