How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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