My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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