In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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