I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
