Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
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explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
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You brought string cheese to the strip club
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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