pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Everything about him screamed your future.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
