I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
