never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
