they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
