i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
