It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
