Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
