like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
