So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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