So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
