90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
