Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
