I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize