i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
