party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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